The Stories We Tell Ourselves Shape How We See Ourselves
The way we describe ourselves is often the way we limit ourselves. The stories we repeat about who we are become a kind of mental programming. We believe them, and then we behave according to them.
Often people tell me that they are terrible in photographs, and what they are really doing is believing what they say and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. They repeat the idea so many times that it becomes part of their identity, and then they arrive at the photo session already expecting to confirm that belief.
Our mind is more powerful than we think, and when we believe that we are bad at something, we often end up becoming bad at it because we approach the situation with fear, tension, and a negative expectation. The opposite is also true. Let me tell you the story of George Dantzig because I think it illustrates this point beautifully.
The George Dantzig Story and the Power of Belief
George Dantzig was a mathematics student. One day, he arrived late to class and saw two equations written on the blackboard. He assumed they were homework problems, copied them down, and left the classroom without asking questions because he didn't want to be told off by the professor for arriving late.
At the next class, he handed in the solved equations. The professor looked confused but accepted the papers.
Later, he was shocked.
Those were not homework problems. They were famous unsolved mathematical problems that many experts believed were impossible to solve.
But because George didn't know they were supposed to be impossible, he approached them differently and solved them.
Whether every detail of the story has been simplified over the years what matters is the lesson. Our beliefs influence our behaviour far more than we realise. We are permeable human beings. We absorb what other people say about us, what they believe about us, and perhaps most significantly, what we repeatedly say about ourselves.
How Self-Perception Affects the Way We Look in Photographs
This idea is not new. Jacques Lacan (1977) suggested that human identity is shaped through what he called the mirror stage, where individuals begin defining themselves through the perceptions of others.
You can agree with Lacan or not, but it is difficult to deny that other people's opinions influence how we see ourselves. Family members, classmates, colleagues, partners, social media, and culture all contribute to the image we build of ourselves.
Therefore, when I hear someone confidently affirm that they are terrible in photographs, I already have a good idea of what is going to happen when they step in front of the camera. Their mouth becomes stiff, their shoulders rise and contract, their chin retracts, and their eyes open wide like two hard-boiled eggs. The entire body enters a state of tension.
Do you think anyone is going to look good in a photograph in that state? Of course not!!
The problem is not that the person is unphotogenic. The problem is that they are trying to survive the experience instead of relaxing into it.
The Secret to Looking Better in Photographs
The secret is not being photogenic, the secret is relaxing as much as you can.
When people relax, they look more natural, their expression and posture improve because they stop fighting the camera. The difference can be remarkable.
After more than ten years photographing people, I can tell you that most of the individuals who walk into a session convinced they are terrible in photographs leave with a completely different perspective about themselves.
Because for a moment they stopped believing the story they had been telling themselves for years, and that is already a powerful transformation.
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