There’s an old tool that was once used to test the purity of gold: the touchstone. By simply rubbing the metal against the stone, one could instantly see its true nature, its quality laid bare. I’ve always loved this metaphor, and over the years I’ve come to realise that portrait photography is a modern-day touchstone. But instead of testing gold, it quietly reveals something much more intimate, our relationship with ourselves.
In my years photographing women - entrepreneurs, mothers, creatives, professionals - I’ve had countless conversations about self-love. Many speak proudly of how they’re working on it: they go on solo trips, book spa days, or spend nourishing weekends with friends. These moments are beautiful and important. But something very telling happens when I offer to take a portrait of them during a family session, just them, alone in the frame.
Most of the time, the response is a quick and uncomfortable “No, just my kids.”
She becomes the invisible one. The organiser, the nurturer, the caretaker, but not the woman. Not the individual with her own presence, history, depth, or beauty.
This moment, so brief yet so revealing, is the touchstone.
Despite all the external efforts of self-care, something is exposed here: a deeper discomfort with being seen. Not as a role, but as a self.
© Leticia Gaidon Bradford Photography
Why Do So Many Women Reject Being Photographed Alone?
This isn’t vanity or shyness. It’s often about identity and worthiness.
For many women, especially mothers, the idea of being photographed on their own feels indulgent, even selfish. Society has long conditioned us to see our value in relation to others: as caregivers, professionals, partners. Being just ourselves in front of a lens, not performing, not hiding, can feel deeply confronting.
But this confrontation is where the real work begins.
Portrait Photography as a Mirror
A portrait is not just a picture. It's a mirror. Not the kind that flatters or distorts, but one that reflects with honesty and compassion.
What I see, time and again, is that a single portrait session can hold the power to shift something within. When a woman sees herself - truly sees herself - in a photograph, she often experiences an emotional moment. Sometimes joy. Sometimes surprise.
It’s not just about liking what you see. It’s about recognising who is there.
“In a society that profits from your self doubts, liking yourself is a rebellious act. ”
Self-Care vs Self-Acceptance
There’s a difference between doing things for yourself and being at peace with yourself.
You can take time off, eat well, go to yoga, and still not want to be photographed. That’s because self-care is external, it’s action. But self-acceptance is internal, it’s permission.
A portrait can reveal where we are in that journey. That’s why it can feel uncomfortable, but also why it can be deeply healing.
Photography, when approached with care and respect, becomes more than just an aesthetic experience. It becomes a transformational one. A moment of honesty. A turning point.
Like the touchstone of old, it shows us something pure, our truth.
So, next time if you have that feeling of not being photographed, ask yourself: What am I really saying no to?
Because maybe, just maybe, that photo you’re avoiding is the very one you need to see.
Follow me in Instagram, Facebook or Threads. You can find me also in LinkedIn.
Thank you for reading.
Bye for now.